Another night, another dream

Today was looong. Went to a conference on education and technology. Looking for clients. Met some cool people- someone who works at the library and is interested in mailVU. I'm interested personally in the library- they have no TV shows on DVD. None. Also someone with a woman's group doing journalism on the DNC.

Then, I went to the car dealership to check out the Hyundai Accent I'm buying tomorrow. Rather odd experience. Asked to talk to the woman I'd been emailing- she'd just left to get contact solution. Okay. They try to call her, no one answers, then someone else answers. So, three other people are helping me- I want to know the total price of the car, if I can bring it down, if I can transfer my old tag, plus the iPod connector isn't syncing my phone. The main guy helping me is inattentive, taking calls, generally taking forever. Ugh. But, I want this car, and I think the price is fair. And I got him to take my business card.

After that, I had a networking event, Charlotte Marketing Association. Was starting to fade. But, made some more good connections.

Talked to Beverly again, several times. She called heparin in to the CVS here and I picked it up (barely made it!) so, we're going to try that as an instillation tomorrow.

Just realized I'm using "we". Shannon and I talked about who was in control when Beverly gives me these treatments. I feel like I'm giving up control, of my body. She says at most it's shared control. And trusting Beverly to take care of me, knowing she'd stop if I told her to, trusting that she's doing what she is to help me. And I absolutely trust her. So yeah, it is shared control, it's "we".

Anyway. Got through the day without crying- guess the distractions- but faded about four- and about eight my brain just shut off. Trying to drive, trying to think. As in, the wine glass is useless without wine.

I hurt, and am swollen, right under my jaw- guess the lymph nodes there? Also brilliantly realized that if I wanted to see my throat, I needed to say, "ahhh" like at the doctor's. It is indeed white. So strep seems probable.

It is not illogical that I am sick. My roommate is a teacher. I meet a lot of people. Dr. Taylor said that moving might mean being sick more often than usual. Even the yeast infection- I forgot to eat yogurt a couple of days, and with the Mirena I may have gotten a few without antibiotics.

But now strep? I'm not sure if I have thrush also or if that's strep. But if I do that's odd. Scary. It's like my body's been defending and defending against these sinus infections, and the YIs. And then the UTIs and thrush. And now it's getting tired.

Not scientific. But how I feel. Tired- mentally, and physically- of fighting infections. And the antibiotics are tired too...

Anyway. I'm seeing Dr. Taylor on Friday morning. I'll tell her all this, hopefully in a coherent manner.